Can't build a website if the fireboat sinks

#1
I'm some place where there are a bunch of houses on the water connected by docks. My coworkers are in the houses and we're trying to finish a project. Due to some sort of technical difficulty the only way we can relay messages to each other is through an elaborate game of "telephone". I'm wandering around the docks waiting for a message from Mike so I can pass it along to Glen and notice a fireboat docked down the way. As I wander by again I notice it's sinking. Andrzej comes walking up from another house and is pissed because the people that own the fireboat are our clients and it's their fault it sank and now we can't finish the project.

#2
Brian pulls up in a big Escalade full of people, including a guy I used to work with at Home Depot (also named Mike). They ask me where Corina Bakery is and I tell them it's on 7th and Broadway. I ask other Mike why Home Depot Mike is there and he says he doesn't know why anyone invited him since he never brings beer and just drinks everyone else's.

Note: I know Corina Bakery's not on 7th and Broadway but in my dream I was convinced it was.

Baby Time!

#1
Someone's chasing me through a house. I run outside and hide under the porch behind some lattice. (I blame episodes of Burn Notice for this dream)

#2
Suze is super pregnant and ready to pop. Her stomach's rippling and I can see the baby pressing its face against the walls of her stomach like people press their faces against glass. (It was only mildly creepy looking.)

#3
I'm standing in a parking garage and get a call from DeeJay that it's time for Suze to give birth. I run outside and wait on the corner jumping up and down saying, "It's baby time! Babybabybabybabybaby." Suze and DeeJay are walking toward me from a parking lot. Suze insists that before we go to the hospital we need to stop for ice cream and get our hair done.

Cloris and Regis

#1
I drive up to the horse stable I used to work at when I was about 13. The mean old lady who lives there not only remembers me but is happy to see me. She starts to give me a tour and tells me about how she's updated the place so people can rent it out for events like weddings.

#2
I'm backstage with the dancers from the Can Can. I ask Jonny Boy if he'd give me a tattoo. He draws Cloris Leachman and Regis Philbin on my back. They're just stick figures but I know who they are. They're having a conversation and a bunch of the words in their speech bubbles are misspelled. I start panicking because I don't have the money to get this lasered off me.

Smoke Shops and Drag Queens and Emma

#1
Trying to get ready for Zoobilee and I'm running terribly late. The room I'm in overlooks a field where the party's taking place. I can see my dad and my boss already down there, sitting at a table. I'm struggling to style my hair (which is incredibly long and curly).

#2
I have a 3rd cat. He eats a mouse and a bunch of plastic wrap and throws up a mouse wrapped in plastic wrap.

#3
Back in Vegas with the girls. We're tired from the day before and I'm trying to see if we have time to visit the Grand Canyon before we drive home.

#4
I am now the owner of the smoke shop I used to work at when I was 18. Am arguing with the manager Lawrence about how things should be done around there.

#5
On some sort of road trip in Las Vegas. Am at the home of a couple drag queens and they're trying to transform me into one. Am trying to figure out how to form my mouth to look like Reba when I sing.

 This is the look I was going for.

#6
Leaving Vegas and realize I won't be able to make it all the way home that night. Am on the phone with my mom and mention looking up Emma since she lives in Eureka. I'm driving along the coast and spot Emma, Nina and Stephanie on the beach. I make a U-turn and there's lots of jumping up and down and hugging and stuff.

Tobacoo, Airplanes, Weddings and Power Rangers

#1
I'm at the smoke shop I used to work at when I was 18. One of the old employees gives me a hug and tells me she's disappointed that I haven't lost more weight since I left. A guy pulls up to the drive thru and orders a specific kind of Kools that I just can't seem to find. I walk back to the counter and Ken and Mark W. are standing there with a friend of Ken's. Ken's teasing him and calling him a "dirty Arabian". Mark's really upset because he can't find the chewing tobacco he wants. I try to help him find an alternative.

#2
I'm getting on an airplane. There's someone there with some sort of medical problem that will be made worse if he flies. I'm trying to convince the flight staff that he needs an injection of something but they won't listen. I start making my way to my seat at the front of the plane and Brian comments that the front of the plane is best because planes usually break apart in the middle, near the wings.

 This doesn't make me feel any better.

#3
I'm at Joe and Anna's wedding. It's outside with a bunch of trees around. The groomsmen start coming out through the trees dressed like Scottish warriors or something (white floofy shirts, kilts, furs, staffs). There's a mock battle and Anna emerges from the battle in her wedding dress. I'm off to the side, watching with a group of people. I'm trying not to step in dog poop.

#4
Something having to do with singing Power Rangers. I just remember watching them and trying to figure out which color they were missing. I think it was green.

Nope. There's the green one. Why does he have gold shoulder pads?

Note: Apparently this is what happens when your back is all messed up and you take a couple muscle relaxers before bed.

Kay Eee Dollar Sign Hah

#1
Having a conversation with my Grandma. She's very young and wearing a red dress. She's telling me all about how she and Grandpa used to go dancing "back in the day".

#2
At Showcase, only it looks nothing like Showcase. One of our troupe routines is set to "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha. We're all dressed in black and come on stage crawling and doing acrobatics like something out of Cirque du Soleil. We're also twirling something that looks like one of those light-up bouncy balls on a string. I'm stuck on the other side of the building and end up running on stage late and trying to sneak in through the back. 

Note: Last night was pretty full of dreams but these are the two that I remember clearly. For those that aren't familiar, this is the song that was in my second dream.

Duck Logic

#1
Trading insults via text message with Brian as he replaces a couch with chairs inside a house. Not sure whose house since it wasn't mine and I've never been to his. I also don't remember any of the insults, but I remember I replied to one with, "your mama".

#2
Walking up stairs to the deck of my parents' old house (pre-fire). There are ducks on every step and they've laid eggs. I ask my mom if she's going to collect them and she says no. If she leaves the eggs there the ducks won't lay any more because they've already got one to deal with.

Puzzles, Tattoos and Midgets, Oh My!

#1
Putting together a puzzle with Kelly. The puzzle image is a picture of Paul and Paul Sr. from American Chopper.

#2
Samantha has decided to get a tattoo on her arm of Fender from the animated movie Robots. She's already done the outline.

#3
Sitting at a table with Brittany's mom, who is not actually Brittany's mom but a blonde midget. She's worried Brittany might be gay. I reassure her that she and Julia are just really good friends.


Note: Some really inappropriate images come up if you Google "blonde midget".

Laundry, levitating chairs and a sleepover.

#1
Fill the washing machine with clothes and turn it on. As soon as the water hits the clothes they begin expanding and overflowing the washer.

#2
In the Stadium District, leaving Doyle's Pub. My transportation is a beige metal folding chair. I sit in it and it starts vibrating/hovering and taking me on my way. I realize I forgot something and have to go around the block to head back. I duck into another building for a moment but quickly leave when the chair gets really loud while vibrating across the tile floor.

#3
At Grandma and Grandpa's house. All my coworkers are there, sleeping in the living room and TV room. Brian tells me we can sleep in until 10 and then we'll meet Ron Howard. 

Paris Hilton stole my shoes

#1
It's Halloween and nearly everyone I walk past is dressed like those blue people from Avatar, including Aron and Suze.

#2
With my dad and step-mom and my step-mom is buying a dresser from Kjersten at Eelv8 Fitness. There's some sort of beauty pageant going on at the studio and I'm trying to carefully fold up the dresser for transport (yes you heard me, the dresser folded up).

#3
I'm looking for my combat boots. Suze tells me she gave them to Paris Hilton.

#4
Getting ready for First Night. It's too early to go out yet. Start arguing with mom and finally just tell her to go home. Someone has drawn the word "BELIEVE" down the center of my face from forehead to chin- red and yellow, outlined in black. For some reason it makes me think of Cirque du Soleil. Another girl wants a giant stencil airbrushed on her shoulder. She's debating whether to do it before or after her meeting.

All of this happened in one dream around 6am

#1
It snowed last night. I walk out my door and see my neighbor across the street. He magically has a much nicer house and is now an old man with a long beard and an Irish accent, running around in red longjohns and putting up Christmas decorations. I decide I need to start my lawnmower to make sure it still works in the snow. It starts right up but doesn't want to shut off and I'm getting nervous because it's very early in the morning and I don't want to disturb my neighbors. Next thing I know I'm debating with my step-dad whether I should have left extra early to catch the bus. I insist that it's not that snowy out and start to put on my socks until I realize they're my dad's socks. I look out the window and see something with glowy eyes outside (it's still dark out) so I go outside to find out what it is and end up wrestling with some creature in the dark, in the snow, and then it runs away. On my way back up the hill of my parent's back yard I walk past their barn and see that they now have chickens who are sitting on frozen eggs.

Apparently Mr. Schuster is a jerk

#1
At some sort of film screening. The entire cast is there. The only actors I recognize are Jeff Bridges and Matthew Morrison (from Glee). We start to file into a theater to view the film and my coworker Paul keeps talking about what a jerk Matthew Morrison is.

 Paul does not like this man

#2
Janelle, the Spokane intern suddenly shows up at my desk for an interview. She looks nothing like the one pic I've seen of Janelle and she's pulling jackets and paperwork off a chair near my desk and sitting down.

Don't drown Billie Mae 2.0

#1
In Ali's office talking to her about Billie Mae 2.0 (her spider plant). It's sitting in a bucket full of mud so I ask how often she's been watering it. She tells me three times a week so I suggest she drop it down to once a week. I look around her office and there are plants everywhere, on bookshelves, in boxes, on the floor... As we're talking, my tongue feels like it's swelling up to be too big for my mouth. I bring my hands up to cover my face and try to shove my tongue back in my mouth.

---

Spider plants aside, that swollen tongue thing felt really real as I was dreaming it. I'm probably remembering a couple years ago when I accidentally sprayed myself with Round-Up and my tongue got all swollen and I couldn't talk. If you've ever seen that episode of House where the guy has the crazy-swollen tongue, it felt like that.

You really shouldn't snort 5-hour Energy

#1
Am supposed to be engaging in some sort of pro wrestling match. My opponent is tall and lanky, with a goatee and ponytail. He snorts a bottle of 5-hour Energy and passes out.

#2
Sitting at a table with a bunch of essays/term papers spread out in front of me. Mostly English Lit. and one math. Grades are As and B+s. From this I must decide what to major in. I decide to drop math and become an English teacher. There are other people in the room with similar papers. I tell them that I will leave the math and science to people who actually enjoy it and will focus on English or American Literature. However, every time I listen to my friend Kristin talk about teaching history, it kind of makes me want to be a history teacher because she's having so much fun.

#3
There's this 1930s feel to the whole situation. Vince Vaughn owes the government money. He has a mob loan shark pay it for him (better to owe the mob than go to jail I guess). The mob wants to take all the alcohol from his distillery as payment. There's something about the distilling process that he's using to help his son who has really bad asthma. To try and help Vince, I go to the back of a warehouse where a group of men are meeting and ask to speak to Tony. Apparently I know this guy pretty well because he asks me a rather loaded question: "Do you want to speak to 'Tony' or 'Mr.______' (same guy)?" I tell him I'm not sure yet. I explain Vince's situation and say I'm asking Tony as a friend and Mr.______ as a businessman for help.

 

---

For the record, Vince Vaughn was not this good looking in my dream. He was loud and crying and very... Vince Vaughn. But this pic had kind of a 30s vibe to it. Also, the mobster in my dream was not actually Mr._______. He had a last name but it's the name of one of my work clients so God forbid he ever discover this blog when doing a Google search for himself.

You cannot stop the zombie apocalypse with a musket.

#1
I know Chris's secret... he has a sleeve of Pepsi cups he's going to sneak into Doyle's so he doesn't have to pay for refills. I tell him and he gets very quiet and scary.

#2
Zombie apocalypse. The red haired kid from Harry Potter is with me as we try and escape them. Make it to Welcher's Gun Shop but all they have is black powder guns and bows and arrows.

#3
Mike is some sort of politician with a bunch of aides running around and attending meetings for him. They have name tags that say their name and who they are representing.

#4
Am being accused of stealing diamond earrings from someone. Lori from bellydance confiscates all my belongings. Felicia tells her to let me keep my ID.

All these demons and no Billy Zane. Sigh.

#1
Sitting around a campfire at the company retreat. Everyone's smoking, including Mike, Ali and Kevin. Kevin whispers to me that he's allergic to Marlboro Menthols so he's going to go buy some Camel Lights.

#2
Surrounded by the demons from Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight. The only thing that scares them off are words that start with B. I'm standing there yelling "Babababababababababa!" to keep them at bay.

Sucks to be Tara Reid

#1
I'm at an awards ceremony. Actors and actresses are being interviewed and given gift bags. I see Lea Michelle from Glee talking to a director. There's talk that some of the actors are being given better gifts than others. Julia Roberts points to me, refers to me as Tara Reid, and starts saying horrible things. She then offers me some sort of 99 cent award and everyone starts laughing. 

---

Wow. Who knew Julia Roberts was such a bitch?

Location location location

#1
Shopping for a new house. I have two options on how to get to it. I can go through some long, winding hallways and down some stairs, or I can use the back door. To get to the back door I have to through Sudan, which is dangerous, but more direct and therefore easier to move furniture in. 

#2
Flying to Vegas with Suze. We have an hour to get to the airport and have just started packing. I try to book a later flight. We arrive at the hotel and I realize I have to fly home for something "real quick".

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Note: Noticing a lot of Vegas dreams. Perhaps it's a sign that I need a vacation.

Who is Adam? I don't know anyone named Adam.

#1
Am in charge of a special needs kid named Adam. He runs away from me and into a junk yard.  I go chasing after him but am blocked by a pile of pastel colored bicycles. Others have joined me in my search and are climbing up piles of pallets to try and find Adam.

#2
Am on vacation with my parents an am arguing with my mother. I tell her she can stay in California if she wants, but I'm going to Las Vegas.

#3
Am running through a hotel. I duck into a gift shop knowing I have to find a certain book for this woman that's in danger. Get into an argument with an employee about whether the book is written by Stephen King or W.E.B. Griffin.

There's a trick to it

#1
Listening to my uncle explain the finer points of how to tip over a honey bucket

#2
Shopping for clothes with Amanda. She tells me the real reason she couldn't hang out on Saturday was that she had to go to a funeral. Her mom's gentleman friend had passed away.

#3
Sitting at a table with Kelly and Maya (only it doesn't look like Maya). They're discussing new Zumba moves.

#4
Talking to Taylor about her years as Columbia in the Tacoma Rocky Horror Picture Show cast.

 

That's Taylor on the right in the gold jacket

Don't buy anything embarrassing

#1
At a grocery store. Samantha's in line to get coffee and is sporting a fauxhawk. Suze and I continue grocery shopping and get in line to check out. The cashier has a microphone and is announcing everyone's purchases.

This isn't quite the hairstyle Samantha was rocking, but it was the closest I could find online.

Katydid it

#1
Standing in a house and a woman is telling me her house is infested with katydids. I say that I don't even know what a katydid is, but I'm under the impression that they're similar to termites by the way she's freaking out. My dream then turns into some sort of Discovery Channel/CSI explanation of katydids, complete with 360 degree view and list of factoids that go scrolling by (I still don't know what a katydid is). I start walking around the house with a vacuum, sucking them up.

 

Apparently they also come in hot pink

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Note: According to Wikipedia a katydid is related to a cricket. Meh.

Working on the Weekend

#1
I'm sitting on the grass with a big crowd of people and someone mentions the SHIFT Awards. Someone else says that it's the same thing as the Shift Happens event, which makes me very angry. I interrupt rather loudly and set them straight.

#2
My friend Amanda has been hired at my place of work. I am giving her a tour of one of our web solutions and she starts trying to type DOS commands into the RTE. I try to explain to her why that won't work.

 

#3

My aunt Judy has 2 baby gorillas that know sign language. They're signing "I love you" to me and I'm crying because I don't want them to go. 

#4

Hitching a ride with two women I don't know. We stop at a gas station and I get myself a cup of coffee. The person behind me waiting for coffee is really rude so I dump out all the creamer so she can't have any.

How do you say frappuccino in Spanish? Frappuccino.

#1
Waiting in line with Saqra to get on a train/tram thing. There's a Starbucks next to the line, as well as a person taking pictures/polaroids of people as souvenirs. We try to get one of those shots where we're both jumping in the air and grinning like idiots. After the picture I try to order coffee but the people in line in front of me are speaking Spanish and holding up the line. I end up riding the train to an unknown destination and back again with the idea that I'll get coffee on my way back.

#2
Borrow Felicia's digital camera and start looking through the pics. Most of it is video clips of me lip syncing and dancing around like a jackass.

#3
At a talent show. I'm waiting with a group of people that will be backup dancers while this little girl sings songs from Glee. The little girl turns out to be the younger sister of a kid I went to elementary school with.

Slash doesn't like liars

#1
Back at my Grandparents' house and standing in the back yard with Suze. Some new people are moving in next door and they ask if they can borrow our wheelbarrow to help move in stuff. Suze doesn't want them using it so she tells them it's full of potting soil. I try to move the wheelbarrow out of site but Slash from Guns n Roses catches me and chews me out for lying.

 

Would YOU lie to this man?

Easy Runner

#1
Parachuting to the ground to help Kelly move into a house that's next door to my childhood best friend's house.

#2
Watching a movie at Kristin's. It finishes as midnight and we walk to Sparks Stadium for a 1-mile charity walk. The theme has something to do with scaring away...something.

#3
Volunteering at some sort of fun run. I'm standing outside waiting for the first runners to finish. Someone tells me that one of my friends is in the lead. It turns out to be Dennis Hopper (who is not a friend of mine, even in my dream). He grabs my hand and we finish the run together.

Ziggy Zaggy, Ziggy Zaggy, Oy Oy Oy!

#1
Standing around a table with the cast of The Man Show. It's a beer drinking contest. First one to finish 10 mugs of beer (and put the empty mug on their head) wins. I win, but it's only because Adam Corolla keeps stopping to tell stories.

Vacation Dreaming

#1
Sitting inside a walk-in fridge at the Museum of Glass, munching on veggies. It's dark and I can hear someone else in the building. I come out and startle them as I exit the fridge.

#2
Working at Home Depot. Trying to balance my till and it's not working. All my dance buddies are in the office ready to head out for a performance. I tell them I'll join them as soon as I'm done. 

#3
In a crappy apartment (maybe in New York?) watching Meg Ryan explain to a woman why she loves... someone. Not really clear.

#4
In my dad's old apartment in Tacoma. A spider has picked up a kitten. I shoo the spider away with a broom and realize there are several newborn kittens in the apartment and a couple grown ones that really want my attention (no food?).

#5
In line to audition for a TV show starring Emeril Lagasse. I'm just there keeping Reena company because part of the audition involves singing (and I can't sing).

#6
On a luxury cruise ship that has broken down. We start rationing out food and one girl tells me she has some leftover gluten free pizza. I ask if it's any good and she says it's terrible.

#7
At Brian's house. Julie confesses to me that she really wants to open a BBQ restaurant. I walk up to Ian who is sitting on the stairs with a large bag of candy next to him. I ask if I can have some Skittles. He says I have to ask his dad. I ask Brian and he says no.

#8
I'm in a park and walk up to a picnic table. Bret Michaels and a bunch of Rock of Love girls are sitting at the table. I can see Bret looking at one of the girls and can hear his thoughts: "She looked like the sweetest, most wholesome girl you'd ever meet... until she did a line of blow."

#9
In the audience for the Oprah show. Oprah has realized that she's pregnant and has decided to give birth on her show. Her doctor informs her that she's actually been pregnant for the last 15 years. She gives birth to a 12" high 15 year old.

#10
In a play with my friend Amanda, Oprah's 12" high 15 year old, and Catherine Zeta Jones. Amanda leans over to me during the show and says, "She's so good!" I reply, "Cathy? Yeah, she's great."

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Note: Took a vacation from work last week but apparently that didn't stop me from dreaming about co-workers... and random celebrities. Prior to my vacation I hadn't been remembering many of my dreams but I think I have it solved now.