That's one way to get rid of the neighbors...

#1
Riding a bus while trying to have a marketing conference call w/ the Spokane office via video chat. I'm wearing some sort of restrictive clothing (corset?) and can barely breathe.

#2
I get out of bed to meet the plumbing contractor. The rains have flooded my yard overnight and I now live next to a raging river.

I'm tired of this muthereffing dude in my muthereffing dream!

#1
Samuel L. Jackson & Danny DeVito are slowly approaching me/coming after me. The lights are on in the room but something has happened that has blinded them. I'm climbing over theater chairs to get away.

#2
At a hafla in a giant gymnasium. Everyone's backed up against the walls so we can all participate in a group dance. My side of the room is full of hyper-emotional gay men who are more interested in shopping than dancing.

 

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Note: Hafla= party (in Arabic).

Teamwork. It prevents lupus.

#1
I'm on/in/watching an episode of House. There's a guest doctor in the hospital and he gives the team a pep talk about helping each other out. He says something about "when one falls you help pull them up."  The team is so inspired they decide to go for a run together. When one falls behind, the rest pull them along. When they finally stop running they've managed to cross several states.

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Note: Interesting. Two House-related dreams in a short amount of time. At least it's still not lupus.

I actually had another dream last night involving my friend Dave and the house I grew up in. I would have included it in today's blog, but here's the kicker: I only DREAMED that I woke up and wrote it down! Crazy, huh?

Awww, look at the kitty!

#1
At the base of a hill. I have three options. I can walk up the smooth part, run up the hilly part, or take an ATV over the really rocky part. I'm supposed to choose the option that will get me to the top fastest.

#2
Working at the animal shelter. Not like washing puppies or anything-- doing my real-life, normal job inside the animal shelter. Reena's sitting at her desk next to me in the hallway. Mike and Ali are working inside the glass-walled room where they keep all the cats. I walk up to the room for a closer look. A puppy has found a way to sneak into the cat shelter and is being pounced upon by several kittens.

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Note: Big thanks to Kevin and Stowe for pimping my blog in their awesome web comic this morning. The pressure to deliver high energy, entertaining dreams is on!

Pretty sure dream #1 is based on an episode of Biggest Loser I watched earlier this week. The contestants could climb up and down a massive amount of stairs for 5 points, or take the trolley up the hill for 1 point. First person to 100 points won a car.

Dream #2 is most likely inspired by the trip I took to the Humane Society earlier this week. I've decided to get a cat and wanted to make sure I was fully prepared (financially, scheduling-wise, etc.). I wandered through the "cattery" and wanted to take at least half of them home that day.

It's never lupus.

#1
I am at my childhood best friend's house. There is a little girl in a purple princess costume looking up at me. She kind of looks like Audrey. She informs me that she isn't a princess, she's a doctor, and I do not have lupus.

Territorial Samurai

#1
Running a 5k, but it's basically laps around the inside of a mall. My mom and step dad are there watching. Every time I pass them they try and get me to stop and try things on.

#2
Something involving kittens and Suze telling me I can't take one home until they're old enough to make noise.

#3
Walking through the woods at a state park or something. I walk up to the bathrooms and they're blocked by a group of samurai saying I can't use this bathroom and have to go back down the hill to the other bathrooms.

Snookiing. It's a verb meaning "to Snooki".

#1
Walking through a mall. I get all turned around and end up in a salon. I visit with the staff for a while and one of them jokes about "Snookiing" me. I ask what the hell Snookiing is and he says it means to spray with self tanner.

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Note: To my dearly devoted blog readers (both of you): Please know that I have not forsaken you. This last week I've either been too tired to remember my dreams, or they were so bizarre that I think you'd be more disturbed than entertained.

But I'm back... and once again dreaming about something I know nothing about. I am aware that Jersey Shore exists, but I've never seen an episode or watched an interview. But I do recall Snooki being parodied on SNL's Weekend Update... maybe that's it.

Addendum: I would like to point out that while I have still not dreamed of Sarah Palin, I am making up new words in my dreams.