Paris Hilton stole my shoes

#1
It's Halloween and nearly everyone I walk past is dressed like those blue people from Avatar, including Aron and Suze.

#2
With my dad and step-mom and my step-mom is buying a dresser from Kjersten at Eelv8 Fitness. There's some sort of beauty pageant going on at the studio and I'm trying to carefully fold up the dresser for transport (yes you heard me, the dresser folded up).

#3
I'm looking for my combat boots. Suze tells me she gave them to Paris Hilton.

#4
Getting ready for First Night. It's too early to go out yet. Start arguing with mom and finally just tell her to go home. Someone has drawn the word "BELIEVE" down the center of my face from forehead to chin- red and yellow, outlined in black. For some reason it makes me think of Cirque du Soleil. Another girl wants a giant stencil airbrushed on her shoulder. She's debating whether to do it before or after her meeting.

All of this happened in one dream around 6am

#1
It snowed last night. I walk out my door and see my neighbor across the street. He magically has a much nicer house and is now an old man with a long beard and an Irish accent, running around in red longjohns and putting up Christmas decorations. I decide I need to start my lawnmower to make sure it still works in the snow. It starts right up but doesn't want to shut off and I'm getting nervous because it's very early in the morning and I don't want to disturb my neighbors. Next thing I know I'm debating with my step-dad whether I should have left extra early to catch the bus. I insist that it's not that snowy out and start to put on my socks until I realize they're my dad's socks. I look out the window and see something with glowy eyes outside (it's still dark out) so I go outside to find out what it is and end up wrestling with some creature in the dark, in the snow, and then it runs away. On my way back up the hill of my parent's back yard I walk past their barn and see that they now have chickens who are sitting on frozen eggs.

Apparently Mr. Schuster is a jerk

#1
At some sort of film screening. The entire cast is there. The only actors I recognize are Jeff Bridges and Matthew Morrison (from Glee). We start to file into a theater to view the film and my coworker Paul keeps talking about what a jerk Matthew Morrison is.

 Paul does not like this man

#2
Janelle, the Spokane intern suddenly shows up at my desk for an interview. She looks nothing like the one pic I've seen of Janelle and she's pulling jackets and paperwork off a chair near my desk and sitting down.

Don't drown Billie Mae 2.0

#1
In Ali's office talking to her about Billie Mae 2.0 (her spider plant). It's sitting in a bucket full of mud so I ask how often she's been watering it. She tells me three times a week so I suggest she drop it down to once a week. I look around her office and there are plants everywhere, on bookshelves, in boxes, on the floor... As we're talking, my tongue feels like it's swelling up to be too big for my mouth. I bring my hands up to cover my face and try to shove my tongue back in my mouth.

---

Spider plants aside, that swollen tongue thing felt really real as I was dreaming it. I'm probably remembering a couple years ago when I accidentally sprayed myself with Round-Up and my tongue got all swollen and I couldn't talk. If you've ever seen that episode of House where the guy has the crazy-swollen tongue, it felt like that.

You really shouldn't snort 5-hour Energy

#1
Am supposed to be engaging in some sort of pro wrestling match. My opponent is tall and lanky, with a goatee and ponytail. He snorts a bottle of 5-hour Energy and passes out.

#2
Sitting at a table with a bunch of essays/term papers spread out in front of me. Mostly English Lit. and one math. Grades are As and B+s. From this I must decide what to major in. I decide to drop math and become an English teacher. There are other people in the room with similar papers. I tell them that I will leave the math and science to people who actually enjoy it and will focus on English or American Literature. However, every time I listen to my friend Kristin talk about teaching history, it kind of makes me want to be a history teacher because she's having so much fun.

#3
There's this 1930s feel to the whole situation. Vince Vaughn owes the government money. He has a mob loan shark pay it for him (better to owe the mob than go to jail I guess). The mob wants to take all the alcohol from his distillery as payment. There's something about the distilling process that he's using to help his son who has really bad asthma. To try and help Vince, I go to the back of a warehouse where a group of men are meeting and ask to speak to Tony. Apparently I know this guy pretty well because he asks me a rather loaded question: "Do you want to speak to 'Tony' or 'Mr.______' (same guy)?" I tell him I'm not sure yet. I explain Vince's situation and say I'm asking Tony as a friend and Mr.______ as a businessman for help.

 

---

For the record, Vince Vaughn was not this good looking in my dream. He was loud and crying and very... Vince Vaughn. But this pic had kind of a 30s vibe to it. Also, the mobster in my dream was not actually Mr._______. He had a last name but it's the name of one of my work clients so God forbid he ever discover this blog when doing a Google search for himself.

You cannot stop the zombie apocalypse with a musket.

#1
I know Chris's secret... he has a sleeve of Pepsi cups he's going to sneak into Doyle's so he doesn't have to pay for refills. I tell him and he gets very quiet and scary.

#2
Zombie apocalypse. The red haired kid from Harry Potter is with me as we try and escape them. Make it to Welcher's Gun Shop but all they have is black powder guns and bows and arrows.

#3
Mike is some sort of politician with a bunch of aides running around and attending meetings for him. They have name tags that say their name and who they are representing.

#4
Am being accused of stealing diamond earrings from someone. Lori from bellydance confiscates all my belongings. Felicia tells her to let me keep my ID.

All these demons and no Billy Zane. Sigh.

#1
Sitting around a campfire at the company retreat. Everyone's smoking, including Mike, Ali and Kevin. Kevin whispers to me that he's allergic to Marlboro Menthols so he's going to go buy some Camel Lights.

#2
Surrounded by the demons from Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight. The only thing that scares them off are words that start with B. I'm standing there yelling "Babababababababababa!" to keep them at bay.