Duck Logic

#1
Trading insults via text message with Brian as he replaces a couch with chairs inside a house. Not sure whose house since it wasn't mine and I've never been to his. I also don't remember any of the insults, but I remember I replied to one with, "your mama".

#2
Walking up stairs to the deck of my parents' old house (pre-fire). There are ducks on every step and they've laid eggs. I ask my mom if she's going to collect them and she says no. If she leaves the eggs there the ducks won't lay any more because they've already got one to deal with.

Puzzles, Tattoos and Midgets, Oh My!

#1
Putting together a puzzle with Kelly. The puzzle image is a picture of Paul and Paul Sr. from American Chopper.

#2
Samantha has decided to get a tattoo on her arm of Fender from the animated movie Robots. She's already done the outline.

#3
Sitting at a table with Brittany's mom, who is not actually Brittany's mom but a blonde midget. She's worried Brittany might be gay. I reassure her that she and Julia are just really good friends.


Note: Some really inappropriate images come up if you Google "blonde midget".

Laundry, levitating chairs and a sleepover.

#1
Fill the washing machine with clothes and turn it on. As soon as the water hits the clothes they begin expanding and overflowing the washer.

#2
In the Stadium District, leaving Doyle's Pub. My transportation is a beige metal folding chair. I sit in it and it starts vibrating/hovering and taking me on my way. I realize I forgot something and have to go around the block to head back. I duck into another building for a moment but quickly leave when the chair gets really loud while vibrating across the tile floor.

#3
At Grandma and Grandpa's house. All my coworkers are there, sleeping in the living room and TV room. Brian tells me we can sleep in until 10 and then we'll meet Ron Howard. 

Paris Hilton stole my shoes

#1
It's Halloween and nearly everyone I walk past is dressed like those blue people from Avatar, including Aron and Suze.

#2
With my dad and step-mom and my step-mom is buying a dresser from Kjersten at Eelv8 Fitness. There's some sort of beauty pageant going on at the studio and I'm trying to carefully fold up the dresser for transport (yes you heard me, the dresser folded up).

#3
I'm looking for my combat boots. Suze tells me she gave them to Paris Hilton.

#4
Getting ready for First Night. It's too early to go out yet. Start arguing with mom and finally just tell her to go home. Someone has drawn the word "BELIEVE" down the center of my face from forehead to chin- red and yellow, outlined in black. For some reason it makes me think of Cirque du Soleil. Another girl wants a giant stencil airbrushed on her shoulder. She's debating whether to do it before or after her meeting.

All of this happened in one dream around 6am

#1
It snowed last night. I walk out my door and see my neighbor across the street. He magically has a much nicer house and is now an old man with a long beard and an Irish accent, running around in red longjohns and putting up Christmas decorations. I decide I need to start my lawnmower to make sure it still works in the snow. It starts right up but doesn't want to shut off and I'm getting nervous because it's very early in the morning and I don't want to disturb my neighbors. Next thing I know I'm debating with my step-dad whether I should have left extra early to catch the bus. I insist that it's not that snowy out and start to put on my socks until I realize they're my dad's socks. I look out the window and see something with glowy eyes outside (it's still dark out) so I go outside to find out what it is and end up wrestling with some creature in the dark, in the snow, and then it runs away. On my way back up the hill of my parent's back yard I walk past their barn and see that they now have chickens who are sitting on frozen eggs.

Apparently Mr. Schuster is a jerk

#1
At some sort of film screening. The entire cast is there. The only actors I recognize are Jeff Bridges and Matthew Morrison (from Glee). We start to file into a theater to view the film and my coworker Paul keeps talking about what a jerk Matthew Morrison is.

 Paul does not like this man

#2
Janelle, the Spokane intern suddenly shows up at my desk for an interview. She looks nothing like the one pic I've seen of Janelle and she's pulling jackets and paperwork off a chair near my desk and sitting down.

Don't drown Billie Mae 2.0

#1
In Ali's office talking to her about Billie Mae 2.0 (her spider plant). It's sitting in a bucket full of mud so I ask how often she's been watering it. She tells me three times a week so I suggest she drop it down to once a week. I look around her office and there are plants everywhere, on bookshelves, in boxes, on the floor... As we're talking, my tongue feels like it's swelling up to be too big for my mouth. I bring my hands up to cover my face and try to shove my tongue back in my mouth.

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Spider plants aside, that swollen tongue thing felt really real as I was dreaming it. I'm probably remembering a couple years ago when I accidentally sprayed myself with Round-Up and my tongue got all swollen and I couldn't talk. If you've ever seen that episode of House where the guy has the crazy-swollen tongue, it felt like that.