Nobody likes a mullet

#1
Getting ready to watch a (drag?) show. The room has very few tables and just a bunch of exercise equipment like universal gyms and stuff. I try to find a table because Mel is meeting me for the show.

#1.5
Mel shows up and it's obvious that she's tried to emulate Katie's haircut (very short), but it's looking very mullet-like and she's quite unhappy. I call Angela and ask her if she can help Mel if the place she got it cut can't fix it.

Jai REALLY likes Ben Savage

#1
Jai is wearing a giant white fluffy bathrobe with his friends' names embroidered in gold down the lapels and a portrait of Ben Savage on the back. But when he takes off the robe, he has the same thing tattooed on his body.

Photo source: www.nndb.com

#2
Riding in a shitty old van with someone. We're headed to a junk yard for some reason. Up ahead I can see a burly tattooed guy with only one leg. He's using a shovel as a crutch and has fallen over. He's struggling to get back up as another one legged man approaches him. I tap the arm of the guy driving the van and point out the guy on the ground so he doesn't hit him.

#3
The junk yard turns into a boat dealership and Sarah A. from high school is working behind the counter. She's trying to get me to go to a bar (hotel?) for something and I get the impression it's a prank. I decline, saying I don't handle embarrassment well.

Guest Post: Cat-Sized Hippos on a Plane!

"So i flew on a giant plane last night that was piloted by George Clooney and patrolled by a security team of 7 year old girls in princess dresses and two cat-sized hippos. Oh, and there was a restaurant on the plane that was serving biscuits and gravy...and when i said it was a giant airplane, I'm not kidding. More like a giant flying ferry, room to walk around...different levels and sections (all based on your ticket price, of course)."

I love when people share their own weird dreams with me. This one came from a coworker.

You Can't Put Grapes in Crepes

#1
I wake up at the company retreat in time for breakfast. I suddenly realize I haven't bought enough fruit for the crepes that Mark's going to make. I start panicking because people are coming in for breakfast. I walk outside and quickly try to think of the nearest town where I can find fruit, but it would take me at least an hour to get there and back. I look over my shoulder and there just happens to be a produce stand on the lodge property. I walk inside and the next thing I know, I have two handfuls of blueberries and I'm trying to figure out where to take them. Mark's ahead of me, washing salad. Kirk's grabbing handfuls of grapes and I'm yelling at him that you can't put grapes inside of crepes.

Image Source

These are the things that wake me up at 4 a.m.

Truth

Source

Guest Post: Mom's Got a Ghost Christmas Tree

From my voicemail:

Hi Sweetheart. I woke up a little while ago after having this strange - pleasant - but mildly strange dream, that included you! I'm cleaning up Christmas lights and decorations and crap, as well as folding clothes and putting them into a bag. And I've been on the phone to Pauline and Dad's been on the phone to Bill discussing storage a storage closet up in Bill's attic. It's all kind of mundane and weird because none of it has to do with the house that I'm living in - that includes a ghost Christmas tree. Yeah, the house looks kind of mansion-y... sort of, it's a big house, and there's a ghost Christmas tree! Now with effort, you can move it, but you can also put your hand right through it. I don't understand that...it's never explained, but it is kind of a strange sort of thing.

  Anyway, I'm working around it and I'm cleaning up other supplies and trying to get them into bags and you and Dad have come across some old albums...there's a cut or two on them that's like "Santana Playing Christmas Music" and so part of it's playing Santana with some sort of Christmas music as part of what he's doing and that's kind of pleasant and odd. And you're looking around and saying, you know, this old house we're living in" - it's a pretty good sized house, you're saying, "This would have made a great place for a graduation party." And I said, "Yeah, it would have. You know, a couple hundred pizzas or so...and lots of kids playing and singing..." and I said "But you're out of high school now, and so, you know, there's not going to be high school parties here." 

And you're looking surprisingly like Drew Barrymore. I don't quite understand that...I think it's because I think of her as looking like a very lovely and polished young woman, and truth is, that's how I think of you.

So...I'm looking at... you know, we're doing this and I said "Well, you know, you're not in high school anymore, but it would make for a really good place for some kind of a big holiday party for homeless kids and maybe some low income. And I'm thinking yeah, we could afford a couple thousand pizzas...when I woke up I said "No, we cannot afford a couple thousand pizzas. That's twenty grand. But a couple hundred pizzas, yeah we could probably pull that off." And I'm thinking ... you know when I'm dreaming...and I'm telling you "yeah, we can afford lots of pizzas" and I'm looking at you and you say "you know, it's a year 'til Christmas, that means you got 6-7 months to get this planned and get other sponsors on board. It's your event. You want to do it, go for it."

And then I woke up. It was a very odd dream. It was kind of a "hanging in the air". Am I suggesting you ought to do that? No, not particularly, unless that was something you wanted to do. But I thought it was such an odd dream and part of it was kind of... fussing because we're cleaning up and part of it was this wild dream that had visions back to the movie of Casper. You know, ghost Christmas trees... which I don't understand where that came from... But it was a very nice looking tree. It was green and it was covered with red and silver balls. and that was ... it was an artificial tree, too. So yeah...I could move it but it was kind of tricky because your hand tended to want to go through it. I don't understand the meaning of it or if it had any meaning at all [laughs] but it involved you, and you were looking good and the whole thing was kind of a "wow wonder what that was" so I thought I'd share it.

The End

We Are Cheerleaders

#1
Anna has enrolled in college. It's an Eastern Washington college but has a branch here in Tacoma. She informs me that she's graduated from the cheerleading program and is now an on-call cheerleader. If anyone harasses her while she's in her cheerleading skirt they can be charged with a felony.